emyrldlady: (Get yer Freak on)
[personal profile] emyrldlady
Every day isn't going to be great. I know that. I pushed myself hard this weekend because I was finally feeling good. I did some hard housecleaning and loads of laundry that need to be carried up and down a few flights of stairs. Sunday at the gym I pushed harder. I did a heavy grocery shopping that also had me hauling things up and down stairs. By the time mid day hit on Sunday I was paying for all of that. I'm not going to the gym today and I'm ok with that. But I also got very down on myself last night. I had been talking about ideas for a career change and going back to school with a friend on Saturday. I tried to do some research and ended up pretty depressed. The costs are just so hard for me to comprehend. I still have to check out resources but I'm stumped. My bad credit won't help with a loan and how does one qualify for some sort of scholarship when they haven't been inside a school for 30 years. So yeah. I was pretty down last night and it's lingering this morning. But I'm still going to try. There are going to be ups and downs. You can't just miraculously wake up one day and your depression and bad habits are gone. I overate last night. Not dramatically. I didn't eat a pint of ice cream or had fast food. But I did go over my carb limit and I'm a little disappointed in myself. But Rome wasn't built in a day. Thanks for listening.
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September 2016

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