Nov. 16th, 2015 10:29 am
emyrldlady: (Default)
[personal profile] emyrldlady
I'm sorry that all I do here is complain but I need a release valve. If I do it on FB I let my whole family see how miserably I'm failing at life and I can only deal with only so much of  *you should pray*. Yeah I'm praying, I'm praying for a new pancreas and to win the lottery.

So I want to say things were/are a bit better. Since I moved in with Jeff he's been awesome about carrying most of my load financially so I can go to school. I'm about a month and a half away from getting my MSCA for SQL Server. Once done I should be able to get a good paying job. One that will help me pay back Jeff and to get quite a few things taken care of that I've been ignoring. Like a large portion of my health, I need new glasses, I need desperately to go to the dentist (that will rack up to the thousands) I need MUCH better insurance than the shit AmerihealthNJ that I'm paying $400 a month out of my own pocket. They constantly are my biggest headache. I've got about $2000 worth of denials from them for things that 6 months ago they approved. Mainly my insulin pump supplies.

Now the big problem right now (yes the insurance bills aren't my BIG problem)

My school is run by a bunch of fucking idiots. It's not really even a school. It's a tech certification center. They are completely ill equipped to deal with someone coming in to learn who has no background in any of what they provide classes and certifications for. It took two months to finally get things rolling along so that I've got the books, and websites and finally a teacher who understand I've got no background in SQL or any database mgmt system or any real computer background other than an end user who somewhat recognizes some of the terms you're using.

This was supposed to be a 13 week course. I started Aug 17, my 13th week would be now. I was told in early October that since we had a rocky start that they filed an extension and it was approved till Dec 6. I WAS TOLD THIS, I DIDN'T ASK ABOUT IT, I WAS TOLD IT HAPPENED.
So two weeks ago when we realized that the holiday was going to screw up our timelines and I'd have no time to practice for my exam for the last module I'd not had they were going to request a SECOND extension till the first week in Jan and that would be great. But they warned me that the unemployment office may approve the schooling extension but not my financial funds. I immediately worried about how I was going to make it through December and then until I actually found a proper job.

But of course this is MY life, I can't even get that shitty of an outcome. Last Sunday I, as usual, logged into my unemployment account to apply for my weekly benefits and was locked out. I didn't know why. I had to wait till Monday to speak with a person so I went in to school as usual and set myself up at my desk. I then walked past the school admin and he flagged me down with massive appologies. Turns out he NEVER FILED MY ORIGINAL EXTENSION. And on top of that he only filed me for ELEVEN weeks, not thirteen. I am currently cut off from all funds and it looks like I won't finish this fucking school course till January.

Jeff is giving me money to pay my major bills but god damn it I'm tired of being a drain on him. I just can't be such a burden to him. It hurts every time I look at him. He's so good to me and I don't deserve it. He's annoyed, and upset and I don't blame him. He's not mad at me, but at the situation, but I still can't help walking on egg shells.

I have some major TMI stress induced health issues going on, not the least of is I've had my period for 45 days straight.

I don't know why this is my life. I'm just so tired of it all.
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